bunnylove: (Default)
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on...


Oh hay thar Christmas! I've been noticing on several friends entries on LJ and on Tumblr that it just doesn't feel like Christmas this year. I don't know why, but I don't feel it as well. Maybe it's because I have no money and no one is getting anything from me this year. Usually I'd go out and get some small things and then spend the night wrapping, but I haven't had that, so I think that's part of what's missing. Not the actual material aspect of it, but once I do that I just get into the mindset of it all. Or it could be that since my family is broke we can't do much of anything tomorrow except to be together; which I am fine with. Christmas is really about being together and sharing it with the ones you love. We hear this cliché all the time, but it's true. Even if you may not be able to spend it with all your loved ones I hope that it can still be a good one. If I was in the power to grant everyone their Christmas wish I would in a heartbeat. Even we're close or don't talk much any more you are no less special to me.

Even if you skip all the stuff I wrote above, please have a safe and Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa or whatever you may or may not celebrate. All my love to you all.


9th year and counting!
bunnylove: (Default)
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on...


I've said it before and I'll say it again: how in did it get to be Christmas already? We usually say this every year and it's always the same, you blink and the year is over. It's suddenly time to celebrate the season and the year that has gone past.

I honestly cannot say that 2010 was good. I cannot say that it was really horrible either. I know that 2010 has been rough on many people, I don't know if it's just something because of the year or whatever, but regardless if it's been financial, health, relationship, work, family/friend issues it seems that a lot has happened to many of us. Overall there were some bright spots in this year for me that have and will take me further on into the next year to come.

I am incredibly blessed. I know that the job/money situation isn't good for me or mum, but I am still incredibly better off than a lot of people around the world. Blessed to live in a country where I don't have to fear for my life or have any particular conflict with things. I am blessed because I do have a home, regardless if it's not the best in the world and hard to pay for each month. I have access to food, water, healthcare and the basic necessities. I am in relatively good health, just have some weight to loose. My whole family is in relatively good health. I have my kitties and Goddess only knows what else that decides to come in our place; flying squirrels, chipmunks, raccoons, dogs, rats, mice, shrews... . Also blessed with incredible friends in RL and here on LJ.

Christmas is really about being together and sharing it with the ones you love. We hear this cliché all the time, but it's true. Even if you may not be able to spend it with all your loved ones I hope that it can still be a good one. If I was in the power to grant everyone their Christmas wish I would in a heartbeat. Even we're close or don't talk much any more you are no less special to me.

Even if you skip all the stuff I wrote above, please have a safe and Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa or whatever you may or may not celebrate. All my love to you all.


8th Christmas with this banner! :D
bunnylove: (Default)
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on


Again I say, how in the hell did it get to be Christmas already? We usually say this every year and it's always the same, you blink and the year is over. It's suddenly time to celebrate the season and the year that has gone past.

I honestly cannot say that 2009 was good. I cannot say that it was really horrible either. Needless to say I won't go into everything because a) I don't want to and b) I don't want to put any of you to sleep. I know that 2009 has been rough on many people, I don't know if it's just something because of the year or whatever, but regardless if it's been financial, health, relationship, work, family/friend issues it seems that a lot has happened to many of us. Maybe 2009 has been a learning year, who knows, I just want a fresh start.

I am incredibly blessed. I know that the job/money situation isn't good for me or mum, but I am blessed. Blessed to live in a country where I don't have to fear for my life or have any particular conflict with things. I am blessed because I do have a home, regardless if it's not the best in the world and hard to pay for each month. I have access to food, water, healthcare and the basic necessities. I am in relatively good health, just have some weight to loose. My whole family is in relatively good health (except mum is still pretty sore from her dental surgery last week, but that's to be expected). I have my kitties and Goddess only knows what else that decides to come in our place. Also blessed with incredible friends in RL and here on LJ.

When thinking about what I want for Christmas this year I could honestly and 100% say that I wanted nothing. Growing up mum and dad made a decent living, mum owned her own business for almost 10 years and dad had a strong career going for him for a long time. Just 10 years ago I was getting trips to Hawaii or Disneyland as a Christmas present along with whatever electronics/gaming systems that was hot at the time. I could honestly say that back then if I was told I would really be content with nothing then I probably would have fallen over. I wasn't a greedy brat by any means, but I was used to getting spoiled to some degree (being an only child will do that). Today I just don't care. In the grand scheme of it all, what does it really amount to? Right now I am happy just to chill with the people I love and my kitties.

Christmas is really about being together and sharing it with the ones you love. We hear this cliché all the time, but it's true. Even if you may not be able to spend it with all your loved ones I hope that it can still be a good one. If I was in the power to grant everyone their Christmas wish I would in a heartbeat. Even we're close or don't talk much any more you are no less special to me.

I mad a lasagne from scratch yesterday and we're going to have it for dinner tonight. First time I've done one and I think it looks alright. Dad is coming over and spending the night since he would have to go home and be alone for the night. He doesn't like that and gets grumpy, so we offered him to spend the night and he's going to. I wonder how Moe will be with it all. He's very weary of people and seems to be more frightened of men than women, but of course mum and I will be here so we could just drag him out from under the bed. He's my big scaredy cat (he gets freaked out if you just open a pop bottle, I guess the noise freaks him out). Tinkerbell... she could care less. I'm sure she would walk into the jaws of a shark because she'd be more curious as to what was there than what the danger would be.

Even if you skip all the stuff I wrote above, please have a safe and Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice (although I'm a tad late on that one), Kwanzaa or whatever you may or may not celebrate. All my love to you all.


7th Christmas with this banner! *pets it*
bunnylove: (Default)
I just measured the snow outside of our sun room sliding door... 48 cm(about 19 inches). And it's still snowing, it's seriously a blizzard outside. Awesome! Sucks if you have to go out in it, but from where I'm sitting it's gorgeous. I haven't seen this much snow here in... well ever (that I can remember).

I took these about two hours ago:


I am a bit bummed because we were supposed to go to my dad's for Christmas Eve dinner, but there's no way mum and I can drive in it. We're seeing him tomorrow morning anyway, so it's not a terrible thing missing dinner. I'm more bummed that we miss out on the roast we were supposed to have.

I'm watching A Muppets Christmas Carol, best Christmas movie evar!
bunnylove: (Default)
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on


Again I start off another Christmas entry saying I have no idea how this happened. How this holiday, how this year has creeped up and is suddenly here. Bam. 2008 almost over and 2009 (WTF?!) is about to begin.

I don't really want to wax poetic about this past year, because right now I'm not seeing a lot of happiness. Of course there are good points and highlights, but for the most part 2008 wasn't remarkable or terribly special in any real way. I did, however get a new job, which I'm enjoying so far. I truly think if I were still at Starbucks I may not have my sanity right now. I got that bit over with my life and am very happy for it.

My one wish, truly, is for my mum to get the help she needs. She's suffering mentally and physically and there's nothing I can do. I hate having to watch her being so miserable. I'm tired of trying to push and prod her to get things done, I want her to take hold of her life, to stop mentally beating herself down. I just want peace. Peace of mind and stability. I hope 2009 will bring some of that for her and for us. I want to stop hurting, too and having to worry about issues that should be my parents responsibility and not mine.

What I do know and this is a one constant, is all of you, my friends, here on LJ and in RL. I am always amazed at the love and support that people provide me and each other. Even if we may have drifted apart and may not talk as much as we used too or have grown closer, I love you all. There are a lot of hard things that we have to put up with on a day to day basis and sometimes it's remarkable how we come through with our sanity intact. I guess that's one of the blessings and curses of LJ. Ah, it's an escape and when we need it it's always there for us.

I wish I could give you all that you deserve and want, if I had that in my power to do so I would in a nano second. Sadly it is not, so all I can offer up is my hugs, love, prayers, and my very best wishes for this holiday season and the new year.

Again this Christmas won't be all that flashy and filled with presents, but it'll still be nice. It's more than the material gain. I really don't need much anyway, I have enough anyway. Although a nice vacation would be nice. :P

Even if you skip all the stuff I wrote above, please have a safe and Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice (although I'm a tad late on that one), Kwanzaa or whatever you may or may not celebrate. All my love to you all.


6th Christmas using this banner, still love it!


BTW, do any Canadians know when/if the Doctor Who Christmas special will be airing here?
bunnylove: (Default)
It's Christmas and I keep trying to wrap my head around how the hell that happened. Another year almost done and a new one about to begin. It's scary how fast it comes and goes.

I'm a very lucky person despite all the heartache and depression I have to try and deal with on a day to day basis. I'm in relatively good health, my family is in good health; I have a roof over my head and food to eat on a daily basis. A lot of people around the world don't have that and all I can do right now is just hope that one day something will change for them and pray. I don't know how well that will work, but you have to have hope.

I had a great accomplishment this year; I graduated from high school after years of struggling with it. It's a big weight off my mind and I can now move forward and hopefully get into the program I want to at college.

Like any other year it's had it's ups and downs. This year has been particularly hard on me because I've lost a lot. In February we got news from our former upstairs neighbour that George had passed away. While she lived here George hanged out with us while she was at work and he was such a darling cat. It turns out George was sick from birth (the vets weren't sure with what) and he just wasn't meant to stay here very long. I know he had a great life and was very well loved.

The first huge blow was that I lost my girl, Coda in April. That whole week leading up to us putting her down was just hell, because deep down I knew that she wasn't doing well and it wasn't fair to keep her suffering. It was a heart wrenching decision that we had to make, but it was necessary. I know now she isn't in any pain and is doing well. It was just her time. I love you and I know you're alright.

This past July my other baby, Eowyn went missing. While I know it doesn't look good, I still have to hold out hope for something to happen. I just cannot accept that she may really be gone, it hurts my heart too much to think that. She is my first kitten I ever got and she is a crazy one. But I think all cats are crazy. :P Wherever you are I hope you are well and happy.

And just recently in November Sebastian has now gone missing. Even though he was never technically my cat, he still feels like part of the family. He basically moved in to our place since his mommy moved in next door almost two years ago. I hope he's alright and that he's just gone for a ride (he likes to get in people's cars). The first summer he came to live here he went missing for a month because he hitched a ride in a car and then wandered around a neighbourhood about 10 miles away. Luckily he was fine and someone recognized him from the local paper and he came home. I'm still holding out hope that this is the case again.

Despite my losses in kitties this year there are also some gains. In May [livejournal.com profile] gremmie_goo and I went down to the local shelter to look at kitties and I ended up with a Tinkerbell. Leann had sent me her link on Pet Finder a few weeks before hand and she was still there when we went to visit. When I saw her it just felt right and the rest is history. But there was something I didn't expect when I went to the shelter, I fell in love with two kitties. One they said wouldn't be good in a multiple cat home because he had to be King, so Leann and I plotted to adopt this cat for my dad who was moving into a new apartment in the middle of June. I knew I had to have this cat in my life as well as Tinkerbell, but I don't think we could handle three kitties (well four if you count Sebastian). Long story short the plan backfired and dad adamantly didn't want a kitty, in some ways I get and respect his choice. The loss of Jackson was a hard blow to him and it'll take time before he's ready. With the adoption already approved and paid for all that was left to go get the guy. I was hesitant at first, because I've never had more than two cats my whole life and the prospect of three was a bit daunting, but surprisingly (after a hospital visit and a week off of work for my mum) it all worked out and Moe is now a big (physically and mentally) part of our lives. I honestly couldn't see my life without him. The Gods work in odd ways, but I was obviously meant to have this cat.

This past year I met a great many new friends here on LJ through fandom and other means and I'm greatful for that. I wish all of you the best for the holiday and the coming new year. You all deserve the best and brightest. I wish I could give everyone a present or hugs, but unfortunately it's not really in my budget (being a Barista doesn't pay well, trust me LOL). I've grown closer to some of you over the past year and some have left. You know who you are and I won't say anything except that I hope you're well and happy. Even though fandom can get a bad rap sometimes it really is a remarkable thing how it can bring us together and how we can make true friends in unlikely places. I love you guys!

This Christmas won't be a huge one or a flashy one, but I'm happy with it all the same. I actually get to spend some of Christmas day with my dad which is nice because he got a later shift at his job for that day, so I get Christmas morning with my mum and dad and then mum and I are off to my aunts for Christmas dinner. Boxing day we're having brunch with my other aunt, uncle and cousins from Victoria. I haven't seen my cousins in years, so that'll be fun.

If you don't bother reading this whole entry then that's ok, I just had to get some of it out there. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, you all deserve it!


This'll be the 5th Christmas using this banner. :D
bunnylove: (Default)
They're cutting down tree's. They're putting up reindeer. And singing songs of joy and peace. Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

I've been debating really what to write, good, bad, the ugly, the fuzzy, but I'm sitting here still stuck on really how to say how I feel. I guess some things you cannot put into words.

Anyway, some of you have been with me on here and other places a long time and know that the past few years hasn't been the best for our family, but things are finally a bit more stable. Things don't look a whole lot better money wise, but things are moving. Dad has a new job, I'm still at my job and going to school, mum's been at her job almost a year and still hates it. LOL But she does it anyway and for that I couldn't be prouder. Mum's make a hell of a lot of sacrifices and if we know it or not sometimes there's just nothing you can do or say to really say how greatful you are to them. I know I am. I lucked out big time with her and my dad. Even though my family life wasn't the best I still had two loving parents who always wanted the best for me and encouraged whatever I wanted to do. I really couldn't ask for more.

Also all of you here on LJ, on-line and in RL. Sometimes the power of LJ/on-line fandoms just cannot be put in place. You guys lift me up when I'm sad/mad/bitchy/hormonal/happy/sappy/emo/horny :P, and again I cannot put into words at the kindness and joy that I feel for you all. I really is a miracle. 95% I've never talked to in RL or met in person, we just met through here or on another board or whatever. Fandom may have it's wanks and it's idiot fans, but really the power of fandom brings so many people together it's insane. Before I got into LOTR ect., I didn't really have any friends and then I met a select few who really changed my life and took me on a whole different journey. Fandoms may change, crushes may change, but a lot of you I'm still connected to and I feel very blessed.

Thank you, everyone. I wish you nothing but love and laughter and joy for this Christmas and all through the new year. I know sometimes I'm not always there for you, we all have RL things that take away stuff, but know that I am always here. Always feel free to comment or leave me a note if something you want me to look at. Sometimes my mind is like a sieve and I say I'll do something then completely forget. We all do it, we're only human.

This Christmas will be a bit different this year though. I lost my boy this past June. In some ways I still can't wrap my head around it, I don't think it will really ever sink in. Sitting there at the vets that day was just.... I can't say. I don't want to say. That's for me and him. All I know is that it was time and I have very good memories of him. Jackson was my first dog and you never forget your first dog, cat, fish, bird, hamster or whatever. There's nothing else quite like your first fuzzy (or feathered or finned). Sometimes I find myself just tearing up at odd moments about him, then the moment passes and I smile because he was a goof and did some pretty bad stuff that we laugh at now (except on a few matters, but those are for another day).

Miss you lots.

Despite all my trials these past months and few years I am still a very blessed individual. I have my health, my family is in relatively good health, I have a home that we have been in for a year and a half now, I have friends and I have laughs. Many, many people cannot say the same thing. All I can do is wish them that they have some sort of happiness and joy in their life.

I have a cat staring and meowing at me and waiting to be lifted on to the couch, so I'll wrap up.

Even if you don't read this, basically I wish you all the very best in everything for this season and the new year to come (2007, wtf?!).


4th year using this banner and I still love it. *G*
bunnylove: (Default)
I may sound a bit emo here, but if you could read this entry it'd make me happy.

This year.... I just really cannot put into words. There are so many things I want to forget and so little I want to cherish, sad but true and I really do hurt inside to think of some things that has gone on. I really still cannot put my head around what's happened. In my life, in my families lives, in my friends and in the world. I've grown so much as a person and in many different ways this year and I think I may be better for it. I'm not sure. I still have a lot of growing to do.

But one thing that has been constant through all of this is you guys. I honestly don't think I'd be here (I'm not talking suicide or anything like that) or at least part of me wouldn't be here without you guys. I know some of you knew exactly how I felt and some of you may not have known the full extent, but did feel my pain. Being homeless and evicted from 2 places in less than 4 months isn't easy, as well as being broke and on welfare most of the time. You guys really helped. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know I may have been selfish and may not have been there for all of you as much as I should have, we all have our own battles to go through and if I wasn't there I'm truly sorry.

This Christmas for me will be hard, but I'm lucky in so many ways that others are not, so I am counting my blessings. This will be my first Christmas without a tree, so it'll feel kinda weird, but what I lack in tree's I have in love. Wow, how corny was that sentence? Compared to past Christmas's I'm hardly getting anything, but I don't care because there are more important things. although I'd still like Orlando buck nekkid in my bed Christmas morning.

If I had the power to give everyone what they wanted for Christmas I'd do it in a heart beat, but sadly I'm not God. *le sigh* I'm sorry I couldn't even send out many cards or even presents this year. My family is getting nothing but coffee this year because I can't afford to give them anything else. Please know that I have you all in my prayers and in my thoughts for this season and in the new year.

You are all angels in your own beautiful way. Thank you.


This'll be the 3rd Christmas I've used this banner on here, and I still love it to bits. *G*

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