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Being an adult sucks
It's looking like some part of the universe is really trying to prevent me from going to school this summer. This time it isn't the money issue that is preventing it, it's work. My manager and the district manager (I hate her) were in all day today doing admin stuff and we just causally brought up the subject of vacation time during the summer. I told them I'm probably going to be taking some summer classes and will need about three weeks off, my district manager said that will probably not be possible because it's just too much time. It took every ounce of will power to not burst into tears right then and there. Although a small consolation is that I'm not the only one, she's not going to approve anyone that wants large amounts of vacation time as well. I'm still not 100% sure if I am taking the courses because dad and I have to visit the credit union to see about a loan (we couldn't go in on Tuesday because of a mix-up), but still if I do get the loan then it may be a whole waste of time.
I'm still going to pursue school this summer, don't get me wrong. I wont give it up until I've exhausted all my resources.
I just. God. I'm honestly ready to snap or just lose it. I'm not kidding, I'm just so sick of shit having all this catch 22 bullshit. I just want to take a small chunk of time off to take a class that can help my future. Why is that so difficult? Why am I not allowed do this? If there is something else in the cards for me then I hope it comes around soon. My chest hurts just thinking about all this. My manager said we'll talk next week about all this, so maybe something will happen. She said maybe I can get away with just working one day a week. That's not the fucking point. I want some time off work as well. I haven't had a vacation in over three years. The most time I've ever taken off of work (aside from being sick) is a week or less. I need a break. I just need a mother fucking break.
I'm still going to pursue school this summer, don't get me wrong. I wont give it up until I've exhausted all my resources.
I just. God. I'm honestly ready to snap or just lose it. I'm not kidding, I'm just so sick of shit having all this catch 22 bullshit. I just want to take a small chunk of time off to take a class that can help my future. Why is that so difficult? Why am I not allowed do this? If there is something else in the cards for me then I hope it comes around soon. My chest hurts just thinking about all this. My manager said we'll talk next week about all this, so maybe something will happen. She said maybe I can get away with just working one day a week. That's not the fucking point. I want some time off work as well. I haven't had a vacation in over three years. The most time I've ever taken off of work (aside from being sick) is a week or less. I need a break. I just need a mother fucking break.
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Lysa is such a whore! Seriously. I've never met her but I hate her!
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Or yeah, say that to her face. :D
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We need something good.
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*hugs*
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And then of course sometimes talking about it does shit. Although it did get the one person I talk to constantly on IM mad/irritated by me. *headdesk* It's like, talking about it only helps and does something if you talk to the right person but there's no way to know who that is for sure until you open your mouth - and then it's too late.
*clings*
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Lets bitch at each other and feel better. :D
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Bitchfest commencing in ... well, now! XD
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In a way, though it's different, I do understand the ache of it all. Why is it so hard? Why are the opportunities for our futures that we wanted being snatched away? It hurts so much sometimes, and if it's supposed to play out differently, it needs to start making sense soon. I keep hoping beyond hope that this will turn around for you and become what you need and want.
There's a song in West Side Story (I don't know if you're familiar with it or not) called "Something's Coming," where one of the main characters, who's faced some bad times, keeps telling himself that it's going to change, and for some reason it keeps coming to me. (Although, his story turns out really sad, but that's not the point at all.) There is a lyric that goes, "It's only just out of reach, down the block, on a beach, under a tree. I got a feeling there's a miracle due, gonna come true, coming to me. Could it be? Yes, it could. Something's coming, something good, if I can wait...," and I keep wishing this would be true for you. *hugs tight*
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I'm not really familiar with anything with WSS, but that lyric is beautiful and I love you for thinking of me when you say it. :) I wish the same for you. <333
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Is the class during the day? Can you work part time? I understand you want time off of work, and believe me, I can relate, but maybe you can hold off just a little longer until you've got those classes under your belt. Maybe you can take a fall/winter vacation.
It seems to me you have to make a choice, tke the classes you need to strengthen your chances for a better job, a career, or take a vacation. It's not possible to do both at this time. You've got time, you're still young. Get that education, then someday you'll get a job where you'll have a vacation package that gives you the time you need.
You probably don't want to hear this, and I'm sorry, but really, it's not as bad as it seems.
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I've been working there for three years and I've never asked for this length of time off before, so I guess I'm not used to be told 'you may not be able to'. And I've never asked for time off during the summer, so I thought maybe I'd be ok since it's my first time asking. A girl just got back from three weeks in Japan to visit family, so I'm just a bit hurt that if she can get that length of time off why can't I.
The class is during the day: 9:30 to 5:30, but the way our policies work at my job is that we cannot have any shifts shorter than 4 hours. My particular store hours for employees are 9:15 to 9:15, so I couldn't work during the week. I could however work the weekends, but the nature of the class is that we have the opportunity to come in on weekends to work on our art. So I was hoping to keep that free so that I wouldn't have to worry about work and getting studio time in.
I'm not taking a 'vacation' per-say when I want this time off. I haven't had a vacation of any sort in over three years, so why should I start now. I just want time off to focus on these classes (which are originally 10 weeks, but I can't take 10 weeks off, so I was hoping to take 3 weeks of them) so I can get my portfolio up to standard so I can get into the long term program next spring. This is what makes it so difficult, do I put my current job in jeopardy to take a class to help my future, or do I put my future on hold (again) to work at a job I know I won't be in just so I can't step on anyones toes. I know it seems selfish, but I'm tired of it and I have to be selfish to get ahead with my life.
I'm at a point where I have to make some tough decisions about my future or my present life now. I can't quit my job right now since my mum is on disability and isn't making what she was, so I have to pay for the car, phone, cable, make up rent and then food and gas. If I took the three weeks of I can use my vacation hours to still have income coming in and I've been saving my hours specifically for this.
This class is unfortunately during the summer is isn't offered in the fall/winter/spring, so this is my only shot for it until next year. There are very limited programs offered during the fall that come close to this, which I'll probably take as well, but the summer course just gives me that extra edge to get into this three year program.