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bunnyloveBefore you read this (or stare blankly at the page then move on) I didn't get a job. I'm still unemployed and broke.
For years I have suffered from depression, I have been taking multiple anti depressants for about 6-7 years. There have been periods where I'm ok, other's where I don't think I can make it anymore and want to end it, and times where I just feel hollow inside, numb, and I just don't care anymore. For the past 6 months I have been getting deeper and deeper into my depression and my anxiety has been slowly getting worse, even though I put on a happy face inside I've been hurting.
Last week when I went to go to my welfare meeting I told my case worker about my depression and my anxiety. She just seemed to brush it off and not think it was anything to concerned about. My mum got to talking with her case worker about me and my condition and lo and behold the caseworkers daughter has really bad depression too. She agreed to take a look at my file again and see what she could do.
This morning I went and had a meeting with her and she seemed really supportive and sympathetic. She knew what I was going through and knew that I am suffering from a real illness makes a real impact on my everyday life. So now I'm on disability until I can get effective treatment and help myself get out of this hole I've been in for so many years.
There's a mood disorder clinic out at UBC that mum and I are going to be checking out and see what they can do to help me. My new caseworker is looking into the same program with her daughter. Basically they help you out and help you 'rebuild' yourself and hopefully with that I can finally function more normally and kick the meds I'm on.
There are also other programs that my mum and I will check out, group therapy, other programs that deals with depression and anxiety, shock treatment, involuntary commitment. Those last two were a joke.
I'm feeling a bit better with this news, but oddly I'm not having any strong feelings of relief or anything for that matter. It's what I've been dealing with.
[edit] Figures. I get on disablity and dad gets cut off on his unemployment insurance. >.
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*hugs*
Date: 2004-11-09 10:47 pm (UTC)Out of curiosity, waht meds are you on?
Re: *hugs*
Date: 2004-11-09 10:56 pm (UTC)I'm currently on paxil and welbutrin.
Re: *hugs*
Date: 2004-11-11 09:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-09 10:48 pm (UTC)Not that you have the depression...lol But you know that this pressure is off you right now.
*clings to you* Things are finally looking up...for both of us huh?!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-09 11:02 pm (UTC)Not that you have the depression...lol But you know that this pressure is off you right now.
Yeah, I feel better with the pressure off, but otherwise I'm kinda 'so?'. But that'll change.
*clings back* OMG yes.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-09 10:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-09 11:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-09 10:51 pm (UTC)good luck with everything.
Lotsa BIG supportive hugs
*hugs*
Take care : )
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-09 11:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-09 10:57 pm (UTC)You deserve so much better than what life's thrown at you. You're such a good person.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-09 11:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-11 09:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-09 10:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-09 11:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-09 11:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 12:20 am (UTC)I know what it feels like, so if there's ever anything I can do to help, just let me know. Or if you just need to ramble about it. You can always email me, hon.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 12:36 am (UTC)I'm sorry to hear about your dad though! Argh! Is there anything he can do to get that insurance back? *huggles*
♥minya
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:33 pm (UTC)Aw, Min. *big huggles*
I'm not sure what he can do, but he may have a job opportunity in the next couple of weeks, so keep your fingers crossed.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 03:55 pm (UTC)♥minya
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 01:09 am (UTC)some real help at last.
I think you gotta be real selfish and put yourself first - you know what you can deal with and keep your space.
did you see this post?
http://www.livejournal.com/users/misia/527117.html
Do some dancing, if only for yourself, love yourself.
* HUGS *
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 03:05 am (UTC)I saw in an earlier comment you said you're on paxil and welbutrin. I was on welbutrin for several years until this past february. I take it for my High anxieties, and i felt it wasnt working anymore, but I started taking paxil a few weeks ago and It seems to be working.
<3333333333333
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:35 pm (UTC)I've been on paxil for a few years now, and my welbutrin for about a year. I don't know if they're still working for me anymore but hopefully I'll get some answers soon.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 04:50 am (UTC)You're very adorable when you smile, so the world needs to see it more often ^_^
I hope things keep getting better for you!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 06:57 am (UTC)Glad someone finally noticed you needed the help, and not shuffled you off again. I live with it myself. Hope things work.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 07:00 am (UTC)Hang in there hun.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 09:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 12:17 pm (UTC)LOVE YOU!!!
~*james*~
p.s. that sucks big time that you're dad got cut off.*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:40 pm (UTC)Dad may have a job opportunity in the next 2 weeks, so keep those fingers crossed!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 01:44 pm (UTC)im so glad things are going betterish for you!!!!!
*hugs you to pieces*
i had a gingerbread latte todaaaaaaaaaaaay except i dropped it (but it was almost finished) but there was still a bit left and i was very asad :(
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 02:42 pm (UTC)Thanks, hon, that's nice of you to say.
And I'm sorry about your latte. :( That must be sad.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 05:10 pm (UTC)and make no mistake: i definatly blame it all on you
(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 07:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-10 05:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-12 05:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-12 03:13 pm (UTC)