Bunny Love

They're cutting down tree's. They're putting up reindeer. And singing songs of joy and peace. Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

I've been debating really what to write, good, bad, the ugly, the fuzzy, but I'm sitting here still stuck on really how to say how I feel. I guess some things you cannot put into words.

Anyway, some of you have been with me on here and other places a long time and know that the past few years hasn't been the best for our family, but things are finally a bit more stable. Things don't look a whole lot better money wise, but things are moving. Dad has a new job, I'm still at my job and going to school, mum's been at her job almost a year and still hates it. LOL But she does it anyway and for that I couldn't be prouder. Mum's make a hell of a lot of sacrifices and if we know it or not sometimes there's just nothing you can do or say to really say how greatful you are to them. I know I am. I lucked out big time with her and my dad. Even though my family life wasn't the best I still had two loving parents who always wanted the best for me and encouraged whatever I wanted to do. I really couldn't ask for more.

Also all of you here on LJ, on-line and in RL. Sometimes the power of LJ/on-line fandoms just cannot be put in place. You guys lift me up when I'm sad/mad/bitchy/hormonal/happy/sappy/emo/horny :P, and again I cannot put into words at the kindness and joy that I feel for you all. I really is a miracle. 95% I've never talked to in RL or met in person, we just met through here or on another board or whatever. Fandom may have it's wanks and it's idiot fans, but really the power of fandom brings so many people together it's insane. Before I got into LOTR ect., I didn't really have any friends and then I met a select few who really changed my life and took me on a whole different journey. Fandoms may change, crushes may change, but a lot of you I'm still connected to and I feel very blessed.

Thank you, everyone. I wish you nothing but love and laughter and joy for this Christmas and all through the new year. I know sometimes I'm not always there for you, we all have RL things that take away stuff, but know that I am always here. Always feel free to comment or leave me a note if something you want me to look at. Sometimes my mind is like a sieve and I say I'll do something then completely forget. We all do it, we're only human.

This Christmas will be a bit different this year though. I lost my boy this past June. In some ways I still can't wrap my head around it, I don't think it will really ever sink in. Sitting there at the vets that day was just.... I can't say. I don't want to say. That's for me and him. All I know is that it was time and I have very good memories of him. Jackson was my first dog and you never forget your first dog, cat, fish, bird, hamster or whatever. There's nothing else quite like your first fuzzy (or feathered or finned). Sometimes I find myself just tearing up at odd moments about him, then the moment passes and I smile because he was a goof and did some pretty bad stuff that we laugh at now (except on a few matters, but those are for another day).

Miss you lots.

Despite all my trials these past months and few years I am still a very blessed individual. I have my health, my family is in relatively good health, I have a home that we have been in for a year and a half now, I have friends and I have laughs. Many, many people cannot say the same thing. All I can do is wish them that they have some sort of happiness and joy in their life.

I have a cat staring and meowing at me and waiting to be lifted on to the couch, so I'll wrap up.

Even if you don't read this, basically I wish you all the very best in everything for this season and the new year to come (2007, wtf?!).


4th year using this banner and I still love it. *G*

am so very tired. I didn't sleep a lot last night, so now I'm paying the price. Oh well, I can always have a nap tomorrow after work. now to the good stuff: The Haul

From mum I got:

- New hair brush
- Bag of chocolates
- $20

From dad I got:

- The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella
- Madonna, "Confessions on a Dance Floor"
- Enya, "Amarantine"
- $50 to Michael's, so I can get new art supplies

From Jackson I got:

- Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden

Later tonight I'm going to my Aunt and Uncles for dinner, so I'll get my gifties from them, my cousins, and grandma. For most of us being flat broke this Christmas I'm not doing bad. :)

Merry Christmas everyone! Also a very Happy Chanukah tonight!

I may sound a bit emo here, but if you could read this entry it'd make me happy.

This year.... I just really cannot put into words. There are so many things I want to forget and so little I want to cherish, sad but true and I really do hurt inside to think of some things that has gone on. I really still cannot put my head around what's happened. In my life, in my families lives, in my friends and in the world. I've grown so much as a person and in many different ways this year and I think I may be better for it. I'm not sure. I still have a lot of growing to do.

But one thing that has been constant through all of this is you guys. I honestly don't think I'd be here (I'm not talking suicide or anything like that) or at least part of me wouldn't be here without you guys. I know some of you knew exactly how I felt and some of you may not have known the full extent, but did feel my pain. Being homeless and evicted from 2 places in less than 4 months isn't easy, as well as being broke and on welfare most of the time. You guys really helped. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know I may have been selfish and may not have been there for all of you as much as I should have, we all have our own battles to go through and if I wasn't there I'm truly sorry.

This Christmas for me will be hard, but I'm lucky in so many ways that others are not, so I am counting my blessings. This will be my first Christmas without a tree, so it'll feel kinda weird, but what I lack in tree's I have in love. Wow, how corny was that sentence? Compared to past Christmas's I'm hardly getting anything, but I don't care because there are more important things. although I'd still like Orlando buck nekkid in my bed Christmas morning.

If I had the power to give everyone what they wanted for Christmas I'd do it in a heart beat, but sadly I'm not God. *le sigh* I'm sorry I couldn't even send out many cards or even presents this year. My family is getting nothing but coffee this year because I can't afford to give them anything else. Please know that I have you all in my prayers and in my thoughts for this season and in the new year.

You are all angels in your own beautiful way. Thank you.


This'll be the 3rd Christmas I've used this banner on here, and I still love it to bits. *G*

elvensapphire, I got your package! Thank you so much, hon. I really wasn't expecting anything from ya, just your friendship. I love the kitty and I will listen to the CD soon. Thanks again!

daizalicious, I got your card. Everyone looks great and I love your balls. ;) LOL I have to find my ball hat. I know it's in my room.

Work today = insanity. I mean really. Christmas + Starbucks = holy madness Batman. I think I may have a nap.

I just spent about an hour and a half hanging Christmas lights up on the apple tree. It looks purdy.


*waits for everyone to ooooh and ahhhh*

Anyway, I was listening to my $4.99 Christmas CD and uploaded a few songs for you all. If anyone wants to upload some Christmas songs for me that would be nice too. :) ENJOY!!!

DOWNLOADS:
White Christmas - Bing Crosby (3:04)
Suzy Snowflake - Rosemary Clooney (2:39)
Santa Claus is Coming to Town - Frank Sanatra (2:34)
What Child Is This? - Mahalia Jackson (4:16)
Christmas in New Orleans - Louis Armstrong (2:54)
Frosty The Snowman - Gene Autry (1:54)
O Come All Ye Faithful - Bing Crosby (3:10)

Tonight was our staff Christmas party over at B's house. So much fun and she made the best mashed potatoes I've ever had (until I taste some of daizalicious's spuds of course). Good times were had. We played that DVD games Scene It and I totally blew everyone out of the water. Well, that is until G and his brother came over. After that G and I talked about video games and stuff like that. Yeah, we're cool. LOL And his brother played the guitar on the couch. Oh, and did I mention that I was sitting between them? *G* Sadly they both have girl friends. Bah. I'm not bitter. After that they gave me and a couple of others a ride home and we talked about porn. Yes, porn. Talking porn with two smokin' hot guys while they give you a ride home. I can live with that.

I'm kinda sad that I may not have a Christmas tree this year. We usually have this giant artificial one we put up, but dad has it packed away in his storage locker and refuses to get it. :\ Mum and I can't afford a real one, so I'm trying to think of what to do.

Took my laptop back to Staples. Pray that it gets fixed this time. Cuz if not.... *insert explosion noises here*

LJ is really starting to piss me off with these old comments.

( Dear Santa... )

Since when is buying porn bad? *scratches head*

Watching Oprah's Favourite Things just makes me so Christmasy.

leggyslove's Christmas Wish List 2005

I'm just pointing out my list again because I really would like number 3 on my wish list granted. Please go take a look at what it is and see what you can do. Thank you. :)

Mother fuckers over at ABC canceled Night Stalker. Bah! Bastards! :(

Have written out my Christmas list and have emailed it to the rellies. Ho Ho Ho.

( a convo with my crack victim of a mother )