Achoo

[bunnylove]

Before you read this (or stare blankly at the page then move on) I didn't get a job. I'm still unemployed and broke.

For years I have suffered from depression, I have been taking multiple anti depressants for about 6-7 years. There have been periods where I'm ok, other's where I don't think I can make it anymore and want to end it, and times where I just feel hollow inside, numb, and I just don't care anymore. For the past 6 months I have been getting deeper and deeper into my depression and my anxiety has been slowly getting worse, even though I put on a happy face inside I've been hurting.

Last week when I went to go to my welfare meeting I told my case worker about my depression and my anxiety. She just seemed to brush it off and not think it was anything to concerned about. My mum got to talking with her case worker about me and my condition and lo and behold the caseworkers daughter has really bad depression too. She agreed to take a look at my file again and see what she could do.

This morning I went and had a meeting with her and she seemed really supportive and sympathetic. She knew what I was going through and knew that I am suffering from a real illness makes a real impact on my everyday life. So now I'm on disability until I can get effective treatment and help myself get out of this hole I've been in for so many years.

There's a mood disorder clinic out at UBC that mum and I are going to be checking out and see what they can do to help me. My new caseworker is looking into the same program with her daughter. Basically they help you out and help you 'rebuild' yourself and hopefully with that I can finally function more normally and kick the meds I'm on.

There are also other programs that my mum and I will check out, group therapy, other programs that deals with depression and anxiety, shock treatment, involuntary commitment. Those last two were a joke.

I'm feeling a bit better with this news, but oddly I'm not having any strong feelings of relief or anything for that matter. It's what I've been dealing with.

[edit] Figures. I get on disablity and dad gets cut off on his unemployment insurance. >.

Comments

[leggyslove.livejournal.com]

Thanks, and good luck with yourself. <3